Blacktop ATH

By: invinceable

A “nickname” is defined as a familiar or humorous name given to a person or thing instead of or as well as the real name….I always enjoy taking the humorous route when handing them out.  Guys like Colt “Baby-Horse” McCoy or Jose “Chiquito” Altuve, have been subjects of my nickname-handouts for good reason; they’re funny and they fit. 

My nickname-handout escapade began way back when I was just a young lad.  I grew up watching TV shows like Home Improvement, where the main character, Tim Taylor, donned the nickname “The Tool Man.”  It worked perfectly.  Tim was in fact a man and worked with tools, hence the name given.  From then on, I made it a mission to handout nicknames like candy…mostly because I thought it would be funny to do so.  The first one I can ever remember giving would probably surprise you.  I grew up watching Atlanta Braves baseball on TBS and would’ve definitely considered myself a fan.  That was back when they had a much younger Chipper Jones and a monster pitching staff; Tom Glavin, Greg Maddux, and John Smoltz.  The team was solid and was always in the top tier of the National League.  What I remember most from those teams is that old guy that always seemed to be dozing off.  If Their manager, Bobby Cox, wasn’t getting ejected, he was getting some shut-eye in the teams’ dugout.  Now, it could’ve been that Bobby was a party animal and turnt-up way more than necessary, or it could’ve been that he was just damn near 93 years old and, as an old ‘fella, just needed more sleep.  In either case, I tagged my boy Bobby with the nickname Bobby “The Dozer-Offer” Cox.  Now guys, I know it wasn’t my best work, but it was my first attempt at it, and with that taken into consideration, I felt satisfied.  I was in a full sprint after that.  I didn’t discriminate either.  No matter the sport, I was going in with the nicknames.  Michael “Tooth-Window” Strahan, Latrell “Cornrolls-Too-Tight” Sprewell, and Floyd “Hooked on Phonics” Mayweather, were just a few of the gems that I came up with.  All well deserved and all clearly an accurate reflection of these athletes.

 There is no doubt that nicknames are a huge part of sports.  There are very few athletes, if any at all, that don’t identify with one nowadays, and I feel like it’s my right and duty to continue with the tradition of giving them out.  Athletes are all too often called things that don’t accurately reflect the kind of people they are and it should be known that not all nicknames are wanted or warranted, but the funnier these things can get, the better time I have watching and discussing topics on these athletes.


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